The Negus Project: Marcus – Let Niggas Be Gay

Creating safe spaces for Black women and femmes comes naturally to me. I see myself in each womxn I am able to connect with. I am a reflection of their strength, beauty, and sensuality. There is a major shift for Black womxn healing and creating their own narrative. That shift also needs to happen for Black men.

Black men should be allowed to show their vulnerability, sensuality and beauty in safe places. Meet Marcus or as I like to call him baby fava. He is an amazing home chef. I am trying to get him to start a Youtube. He can sang, not just sing and he loves to children enough to work in the thankless, but rewarding career of education. His is my friend and I am grateful to him for sharing his story. Enjoy!

What makes you proud of being a Black man?

There is a resilience it takes to be a black man today. The ability to get up every morning and shake off what the world throws at you and go and fight another day. I see the things that black men have created for me. The spaces they made and the resilience it took to stand up. I’ve embraced everything about me regardless and that relentless zeal makes me proud that I can look in the mirror everyday and fight for the life I desire.

What brings you joy?

I really get joy from seeing the people I love being happy. To see them living and fulfilling their dreams, doing something they love. It’s the look on their faces. The sparkle in their eyes. Seeing that in other people brings me joy. Also creating things brings me joy. Whether music, art, writing. It all sparks for joy for me.

What does vulnerability mean for you as a Black man? Do you feel you can show your vulnerability as a Black man?

Being vulnerable is the freedom to express whatever emotion you feel. Anger.Sadness. Excitement. Fear. It’s the ability to understand that those emotions exist, to recognize, and to honor them when you feel them. As a black man, it hasn’t always been easy to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is seen as a sign of weakness, but it really isn’t. It takes great strength to be vulnerable. I have the privilege of having a tribe around me who allow me the space to be vulnerable. Building that tribe of people took time, but it gave me a safe space when the world didn’t always have space for me and my larger emotions. In that space, I can be vulnerable with all my emotions. It public, larger feelings are not always welcome. After the Capitol Insurrection, I was angry, but showing rage is a “luxury afforded only to white men.” Public anger is not an emotion I can always afford.

How do you show up for yourself?

It starts with self-care and affirmations. I take time to set boundaries and do for me. I got to therapy once a month and group mindfulness sessions every week. I create space for art. I enjoy my work but I set clear guidelines for what I can and cannot do in a day. I spend time with people who make me feel good. I listen to my body, and most importantly (I cannot express how important this is) I drink plenty of water and mind my own fucking business. I keep my stress levels down and my anxiety under control by focusing on things within my sphere of influence.

Has this experience impacted you in some way?

I think this experience allowed me to see myself in a full authentic way. I was able to be myself in a way that both beautiful and masculine while being vulnerable and open. Olesha is such an amazing host and she let the conversation flow. I felt heard and seen. It felt comfortable.

What do you want other Black men who are considering doing the project to know? 

Do it. The space is amazing and you’d be doing yourself a disservice by not participation. It’s an amazing experience and I learned so much about myself.

View images from other participants of The Negus Project:

Cornelius

Rod