-
Male Boudoir
B
lack men typically don’t do boudoir experiences for a myriad of reasons. The reasons are very similar to those of Black women.Feeling self-conscious about their bodies.The weight of not knowing what people will think. Sometimes even shame.The added bonus for men is that a boudoir experience is not something a “real man” would do. The only caveat is if his partner wanted to do a couple’s experience, but never by himself.Boudoir is for ALL bodies just as they are. It is an expression of love for yourself. A way to capture a moment in time when you felt most connected with your body. When you were brave and vulnerable.I hope to be able to capture more stories of our men.I may have to start the Negus project back up. For this project I gave my brothers the space to tell their stories about being a Black men in America.
-
The Negus Project: Ron – A Vintage Man
The Negus Project: Ron, Vintage Man
Black men deserve their flowers while they are alive. Ron is a sweetheart and was so gracious. I was so honored that he allowed me to capture him. Enjoy!
What brings you joy?
FASHION! As a vintage reseller I have a passion and love of vintage clothing, really all clothing! My business has allowed me to branch into personal styling and now I have the pleasure of bringing joy and happiness to others through fashion.
What does vulnerability mean for you as a Black man? Do you feel you can show your vulnerability as a Black man?
Being able to clearly communicate my feelings and emotions is vulnerability. As a black man, I have to be very careful who I allow to see me in a vulnerable state. Many times the feelings and emotions of black men misunderstood. Showing strength and pride makes you aggressive, showing compassion and love makes you weak! I feel most comfortable being vulnerable when I trust the people around me. If the trust is not there I will have my guard up.
What makes you proud of being a Black man?
Being apart of culture of people who continue to strive for greatness in a world that is not set up for us to win.
How do you show up for yourself?
Going to the gym allows me to start my day with a clear mind to start my day. I have made my health a priority for the last 10 years.
Has this experience impacted you in some way?
This experience was a step out of my comfort zone, which actually very eye-opening. It’s not often as a black man, am I asked what makes me happy or how do I feel about myself or my life. Also taking photos showing my body was something that I was never really comfortable with, but this shoot allowed me to show or not show, and that made me open up even more.
What do you want other Black men who are considering doing the project to know?
Be open to something different! This opportunity allows you to be you with out strings attached.
To view the other men in the project click on their names:
-
The Negus Project: Marcus
The Negus Project: Marcus – Let Niggas Be Gay
Creating safe spaces for Black women and femmes comes naturally to me. I see myself in each womxn I am able to connect with. I am a reflection of their strength, beauty, and sensuality. There is a major shift for Black womxn healing and creating their own narrative. That shift also needs to happen for Black men.
Black men should be allowed to show their vulnerability, sensuality and beauty in safe places. Meet Marcus or as I like to call him baby fava. He is an amazing home chef. I am trying to get him to start a Youtube. He can sang, not just sing and he loves to children enough to work in the thankless, but rewarding career of education. His is my friend and I am grateful to him for sharing his story. Enjoy!
What makes you proud of being a Black man?
There is a resilience it takes to be a black man today. The ability to get up every morning and shake off what the world throws at you and go and fight another day. I see the things that black men have created for me. The spaces they made and the resilience it took to stand up. I’ve embraced everything about me regardless and that relentless zeal makes me proud that I can look in the mirror everyday and fight for the life I desire.
What brings you joy?
I really get joy from seeing the people I love being happy. To see them living and fulfilling their dreams, doing something they love. It’s the look on their faces. The sparkle in their eyes. Seeing that in other people brings me joy. Also creating things brings me joy. Whether music, art, writing. It all sparks for joy for me.
What does vulnerability mean for you as a Black man? Do you feel you can show your vulnerability as a Black man?
Being vulnerable is the freedom to express whatever emotion you feel. Anger.Sadness. Excitement. Fear. It’s the ability to understand that those emotions exist, to recognize, and to honor them when you feel them. As a black man, it hasn’t always been easy to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is seen as a sign of weakness, but it really isn’t. It takes great strength to be vulnerable. I have the privilege of having a tribe around me who allow me the space to be vulnerable. Building that tribe of people took time, but it gave me a safe space when the world didn’t always have space for me and my larger emotions. In that space, I can be vulnerable with all my emotions. It public, larger feelings are not always welcome. After the Capitol Insurrection, I was angry, but showing rage is a “luxury afforded only to white men.” Public anger is not an emotion I can always afford.
How do you show up for yourself?
It starts with self-care and affirmations. I take time to set boundaries and do for me. I got to therapy once a month and group mindfulness sessions every week. I create space for art. I enjoy my work but I set clear guidelines for what I can and cannot do in a day. I spend time with people who make me feel good. I listen to my body, and most importantly (I cannot express how important this is) I drink plenty of water and mind my own fucking business. I keep my stress levels down and my anxiety under control by focusing on things within my sphere of influence.
Has this experience impacted you in some way?
I think this experience allowed me to see myself in a full authentic way. I was able to be myself in a way that both beautiful and masculine while being vulnerable and open. Olesha is such an amazing host and she let the conversation flow. I felt heard and seen. It felt comfortable.
What do you want other Black men who are considering doing the project to know?
Do it. The space is amazing and you’d be doing yourself a disservice by not participation. It’s an amazing experience and I learned so much about myself.
View images from other participants of The Negus Project:
-
The Boudoir University
Over the last 3 years, I have been on some fantastic podcast and had the honor of being an educator at some amazing virtual events. I have literally been talking about the same thing, intimacy, self-empowerment, and creating safe places for Black and Brown bodies. In December I was invited by the amazing Teri Hofford to create educational content for The Boudoir University . Of course, I said hell yea!
She asked me to speak about my personal project, The Negus Project for Black mxn. I cannot deny I was nervous as hell! Imposter syndrome crept in something fierce. I can talk all day about creating safe spaces for Black and Brown womxn. This was new territory for me. Check out the video or listen to the blog here.
-
The Negus Project – Cornelius
The Negus Project was started over 2 years ago after meeting Cornelius. The night we met we spoke about everything from travel to therapy. As I got to know him better we had conversations about the Black man’s plight in America. He gave me insight into what it means for him and his use of therapy to help navigate the bullshit. Cornelius is exactly who he says he is. He is an open book and that is why he is the first man for The Negus Project.
The Negus Project is for cis and Trans Black men to celebrate and share their experience of being a black man. If you are interested in being apart of The Negus Project, send me an email.
