From the very beginning, I felt empowered to get comfortable and be myself. The preliminary survey gave me the opportunity to think through how I wanted the shoot to go and what I wanted to get out of it. I felt really prepared going into the shoot. 

I had done a boudoir shoot before so I kind of knew what to expect. Even so, I still get a little bit of performance anxiety before I walk onto any stage or set. But when I arrived, I immediately felt comfortable. Olesha’s energy was so warm and inviting. And her studio is beautiful. There are so many homey touches. And all the DIY details ensure that the photos are unique. I felt like I was somewhere familiar, which really allowed me to spread out and use the space. 

And knowing that the goal was to capture Black love in it’s natural state, I didn’t feel pressured you suck in my belly or cover my scars. I was able to focus on Fantasia and us sharing this experience together. 

My favorite memory of the whole day was seeing Fantasia experience her first boudoir shoot. She was apprehensive and nervous beforehand, but she opened up as soon as we got in front of the camera. She moved with such fluidity and confidence. It was just like our natural interactions with each other but on another level! 

And once we got the shots back, all I could think was, “She did so well!” Fantasia’s personality really shone – her softness, her humor, her power, and of course how fucking sexy she is! I mean, come on! Did you see those shoulders? Those lips? There are some shots where her dimples are so prominent and adorable. There are others where the soles of her feet look absolutely delicious. And some where her body is absolutely irresistible! I’m glad I got to do this with her and that she gets to see the beauty and sexiness that I see in her captured on film. 

I hate when photographers don’t give enough direction and feedback during a shoot. A little bit of coaching and guidance helps me get comfortable in front of the camera and trust the photographer’s creative vision. And I like to hear a “you look great” or “yasssssss” so I feel like the photographer is getting what they need from me to get a good shot. I had never shot with Olesha before so I didn’t know if she’d be one of those silent photographers who just left me to my own devices. But she was super interactive and gave great direction and encouragement throughout the shoot. I knew leaving the shoot that the pictures would turn out great.

Olesha is an excellent photographer to work with! She’ll keep you laughing the whole shoot so you won’t be thinking about any hang-ups you may have. She played great music that made moving in front of the camera come naturally. She was super personable and professional. 

Also:When it comes to portrayals of Black love, queer representation is often intentionally excluded. And the few depictions of queer love that are out there often uphold gender binary. I was really happy with the fact that Fantasia and I weren’t shown as “a stud” and “a femme” or as masculine and feminine counterparts. Our photos show two beings, two bodies, two lovers enjoying each other. And that’s what we are. 

Love is a feeling, an experience. When it comes to love, labels and roles don’t matter. That’s what I want anyone who sees these photos to take from them.