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  • The Negus Project

    The Negus Project: Marcus

    The Negus Project: Marcus – Let Niggas Be Gay

    Creating safe spaces for Black women and femmes comes naturally to me. I see myself in each womxn I am able to connect with. I am a reflection of their strength, beauty, and sensuality. There is a major shift for Black womxn healing and creating their own narrative. That shift also needs to happen for Black men.

    Black men should be allowed to show their vulnerability, sensuality and beauty in safe places. Meet Marcus or as I like to call him baby fava. He is an amazing home chef. I am trying to get him to start a Youtube. He can sang, not just sing and he loves to children enough to work in the thankless, but rewarding career of education. His is my friend and I am grateful to him for sharing his story. Enjoy!

    What makes you proud of being a Black man?

    There is a resilience it takes to be a black man today. The ability to get up every morning and shake off what the world throws at you and go and fight another day. I see the things that black men have created for me. The spaces they made and the resilience it took to stand up. I’ve embraced everything about me regardless and that relentless zeal makes me proud that I can look in the mirror everyday and fight for the life I desire.

    What brings you joy?

    I really get joy from seeing the people I love being happy. To see them living and fulfilling their dreams, doing something they love. It’s the look on their faces. The sparkle in their eyes. Seeing that in other people brings me joy. Also creating things brings me joy. Whether music, art, writing. It all sparks for joy for me.

    Black man sitting on a green sofa laughing. His hoodie reads, Let Niggas Be Gay. The Negus Project

    What does vulnerability mean for you as a Black man? Do you feel you can show your vulnerability as a Black man?

    Being vulnerable is the freedom to express whatever emotion you feel. Anger.Sadness. Excitement. Fear. It’s the ability to understand that those emotions exist, to recognize, and to honor them when you feel them. As a black man, it hasn’t always been easy to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is seen as a sign of weakness, but it really isn’t. It takes great strength to be vulnerable. I have the privilege of having a tribe around me who allow me the space to be vulnerable. Building that tribe of people took time, but it gave me a safe space when the world didn’t always have space for me and my larger emotions. In that space, I can be vulnerable with all my emotions. It public, larger feelings are not always welcome. After the Capitol Insurrection, I was angry, but showing rage is a “luxury afforded only to white men.” Public anger is not an emotion I can always afford.

    How do you show up for yourself?

    It starts with self-care and affirmations. I take time to set boundaries and do for me. I got to therapy once a month and group mindfulness sessions every week. I create space for art. I enjoy my work but I set clear guidelines for what I can and cannot do in a day. I spend time with people who make me feel good. I listen to my body, and most importantly (I cannot express how important this is) I drink plenty of water and mind my own fucking business. I keep my stress levels down and my anxiety under control by focusing on things within my sphere of influence.

    Black man on a marble wall laughing.  His hoodie reads Let Niggas Be Gay. The Negus Project

    Has this experience impacted you in some way?

    I think this experience allowed me to see myself in a full authentic way. I was able to be myself in a way that both beautiful and masculine while being vulnerable and open. Olesha is such an amazing host and she let the conversation flow. I felt heard and seen. It felt comfortable.

    What do you want other Black men who are considering doing the project to know? 

    Do it. The space is amazing and you’d be doing yourself a disservice by not participation. It’s an amazing experience and I learned so much about myself.

    Black man sitting on a green sofa. His hoodie reads, Let Niggas Be Gay. The Negus Project

    View images from other participants of The Negus Project:

    Cornelius

    Rod

  • A day in the life of Olesha,  The Negus Project

    The Boudoir University

    Over the last 3 years, I have been on some fantastic podcast and had the honor of being an educator at some amazing virtual events. I have literally been talking about the same thing, intimacy, self-empowerment, and creating safe places for Black and Brown bodies. In December I was invited by the amazing Teri Hofford to create educational content for The Boudoir University . Of course, I said hell yea!

    She asked me to speak about my personal project, The Negus Project for Black mxn. I cannot deny I was nervous as hell! Imposter syndrome crept in something fierce. I can talk all day about creating safe spaces for Black and Brown womxn. This was new territory for me. Check out the video or listen to the blog here.

  • A day in the life of Olesha

    A year in review

    Whew child! 2020 has been a year where I have stepped fully into damn myself. No longer worried about what others think of me and how I express myself. It has been a year for telling my story on my own terms. Embracing my spirituality and growing into my relationship with my Ancestors. Realizing that I have to be honest with myself, even when it hurts. Healing is a journey, even when you think you are finished, there is always more.

    This year has also been the year for asking for help and building community. Being dependent on others and allowing people in has been a struggle. Not just a struggle, but a strug-gleee! Past trauma does that to us if we are not careful. Our past will show up in the present as self-sabotaging behavior or imposter syndrome and we don’t even realize it. I am grateful to my Ancestors and the Creator that amazing sister-friends are in my life who give it to me straight, no chaser! The end of 2020 has been emotional, but very much needed. A purge of my past to bring forth the love, sisterhood, and abundance I deserve.

    Now that, that is out of the way, this has been a year of self-portraits for me. Honestly, it has helped me be a better boudoir photographer when I practice posing. It has also helped me get in touch with my inner goddess, sensuality, and sexuality. Check out my Tulum selfies here. My phone has been my self-portrait camera, but I decided to take it up a notch and use my baby with it’s self-timer. I plan to make this a monthly personal project and at the end of 2021 see my progression. Enjoy and Happy New Year!